Secrets
by merdershipper97
Summary: so this is my first time publishing one of my writings. i was sick while writing so i have no idea what i was doing. its not really related to the show. i just wanted to do something different. so umm tell me what do you guys think. whether i should keep on publishing or not


Secrets

Everyone has secrets or at least something they would like to keep hidden from the rest of the world and drown it in the deep ocean in hope that it will never come up for air. Women especially are adroit when it come to keeping secrets. Rose Dewitt Bukater once said in the movie, "titanic" that a woman's a heart is a deep ocean of secrets. Lexie was no exception. Lexie was a beautiful and spellbinding woman who died at the age of sixty from a heart attack and with her also died an untold and heart-rending secret.

Lexie once loved a man named Mark. They were best friends ever since they were thirteen. Lexie hated him at first but as they say, what you hate you will soon come to love or in this matter, whom. Lexie loved and cared about him with all of her heart but she kept her feelings to herself because she did not want to ruin the beautiful friendship that they had. They fought like married couples but cared so deeply for each other. If Lexie got hurt, Mark would make sure that the person who hurt her would never see the light of day. Their friends always teased them about their relationship. Some even rooted for them to be together. Lexie once said that she loved Mark like a brother and it would be incestuous to marry him. Little did she know, Mark had feelings for her too but he kept it to himself because he though that Lexie was too good for him and he did not want to ruin their friendship.

As the years went by, both of them got into relationships with different people but it never worked out because they could never love these people with all of their hearts because part of it will always belong to each other. Lexie's best friend, Meredith noticed it. She confronted Lexie and advised her to tell Mark the truth but Lexie kept on denying it. One day, Mark told Lexie that he was in a serious relationship with a girl named, Julia and that he was considering marrying her. Lexie panicked and she told Mark that she wanted to meet him on the weekend. Lexie decided to take Meredith's advise and wrote what she wanted to say to him on a piece of paper. She wrote " Mark, I have been wanting to say this for a very long time ever since we were thirteen and I have been keeping it inside for seven years now. So here it goes, I am in love with you, I am insanely in love with you. Always have, always been and will be forever. I am sure that Emily is really great but Mark, I love you. In a really really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window. Unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me." When she went for dinner with him that Saturday night, she was shocked when Mark told her that he proposed to Emily that morning and they are getting married next year. Lexie felt like her throat was closing in on her, it felt like the air was so thick that she could not breathe. She was Lexie anyway, so she was good at hiding her feelings. She acted calm when she heard the news. When Mark sent her home, she gave with a tight hug and said "goodbye, take care now". Mark was confused but he just ignored it. She said that because she could not stand looking at him longingly knowing that she could not have so that was all she could say. The following week, Lexie left the country and went to study overseas and also to forget Mark.

When she studied in London, she met a man named Jackson. Jackson was tall, handsome and chivalrous. He was the definition of a perfect guy. Jackson fell in love with Lexie the moment he laid eyes on her. Lexie loved him too but part of her still belonged to Mark. She tried her best to get Mark out of her system but failed miserably. On her birthday, Jackson proposed to Lexie. Lexie accepted it because she wanted to move forward with her life and wanted kids and also to be loved. They got married and had two beautiful kids. One day, Lexie went grocery shopping, she bumped into Mark. She felt her heart dropped and her pulse was racing. There was the same electricity between them as he looked into her eyes. She wondered if he still cared about her. Mark felt like it had been forever since the last time he saw her. They could not stop staring at each other and Mark thought she looked as beautiful as ever. He asked her how she was doing and she told him that she was married. She asked him about his wife and he said she was fine. All he could think about at that time was how desperately he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go. Lexie thought he looked happy. He could not even look at her without crying. He told her that he loved her and missed her but Lexie thought he did not mean it. They hugged. He held her for the last time. Both of them drove home and cried. She loved him and he lost her. That was the last time Lexie saw the sight of him. She put it behind her and went on with her life.

When lexie was fifty-nine, she was diagnosed with hypertension and died the following year because of a heart attack. Mark found out and was grief stricken. The news destroyed his marriage and it almost destroyed him. He brought flowers to lexie's grave every week and on the anniversary of her death, he would spend the day at her grave and just talk to her and tell her how much he missed her. He would reminisce back to the days when they were still best friends and told her how much he missed their banter, the smell of her lavender perfume and the way she laughed. Five years later after lexie's death he died of a broken heart. He could not stand living in the world where there was no lexie. He loved her too much.

Before mark died, he wrote a note to whoever might find it. He wrote "if you love someone, you tell them. Even if you are scared that it is not the right thing. Even if you are scared that it will cause problems. Even if you are scaed that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it. You say it loud and you go from there."


End file.
